when an air conditioner breaks. Lovely. Just lovely.
Hubby was heading to bed. I was going to stay up a bit longer and do some work and I mention to him as he’s heading to bed that it feels hot. That’s not exactly anything new because I’m always hot. But a few seconds later, he comes back out of the bedroom with a frown on his face and says it’s hot in the bedroom too.
Oh joy… :cursesign:
Everytime I finish a project, whether it’s a proposal or a completed work, I get all analytical and usually decide that the end result is shit. The last three books I’ve written? I hated every word. I labored over each sentence, wanting it perfect. By the end, I was absolutely convinced it was the most horrid thing I’d ever written. I threw them aside, turned them in and wouldn’t go back to them until it was absolutely necessary.
And then a most amazing thing happened. Weeks on as I was forced to reopen the story and begin reading or editing, I was struck by the fact that it wasn’t as horrible as I feared. In fact, it was quite good. Of course then I began freaking because I tell myself that it’s a protective measure. I’m deluding myself because the alternative is admitting you wrote shit. Do you see the no win outcome I’m strangling myself with?
This is why it’s so important, SO important to have people who will tell you the absolute truth and who aren’t afraid to say “yep, it’s shit.” I get positively all gooey inside when Amy tells me that I’ve just written crap because it makes the times when she says “wow this is really good” all the better.
So this morning, I’m celebrating, sorta. Because my agent, who is very good about telling me when something isn’t working, loved my proposal. I had some concerns about it. Concerns that had me tweaking one of the chapters and rearranging. But even as I read it, I really liked it and I hoped that it would work because I didn’t have the heart to make drastic changes.
I’m really tempted, REALLY tempted, to take the day off but I have other proposals to write and a good reward for the first one would be to write a kickass second one. :guitar:
Sharon: I seriously need an attitude adjustment
Amy: I hear they sell those at Sears.
Later
Amy: J just called me an asshole!
Sharon: I’m sure you deserved it.
I’m still somewhat glassy-eyed from the conference. I gave myself a day off but I really need to get back to work. Not because I have a pressing deadline, but because I don’t like to go long periods of time without creating. Creativity has to be nurtured or you lose it. Or at least I do. And it’s very easy to get out of the habit of writing/creating.
I’ve talked before about being an externally motivated person. I’m not at all internally motivated. Me telling myself I need to do it doesn’t cut it. I’m just not constructed that way. So I really expected to come back from national feeling very motivated because what is conference if not a huge external shot of motivation?
Eh.
Instead I met hundreds of other really perky, really motivated people who were bubbling over with enthusiasm. I kept wondering how my spaceship crashlanded on this foreign planet.
But back to the whole getting back to work thing. I DID work at the conference. I did line edits for a long ass book. I also did edits for a not so long ass book but Im anal about making it perfect so it wasn’t just a one look, one pass kind of thing. Now that I’m home, I have two proposals that I want to finish in the very short term. My agent and I hatched an evil, diabolical scheme that we’re both extremely excited over and so I have to put all those pieces together. Good evil fun. It’s for everyone I say.
So that’s me. Working. It might even be fun if I ever stop grumbling and muttering under my breath.
I’m not sure tired quite covers the absolute exhaustion I feel. I stumbled out of bed yesterday, threw my stuff together and called for the bellhop to come get it. Threw everything in the van and made excellent time home. About four hours and twenty minutes this time. Spent the evening snuggling with my babies and they took me out to eat. It’s sooooo good to be home even though the conference rocked.
Beyond the Night releases tomorrow. I love that book. I actually got the line edits back Monday night so I had to lock myself in my room at periods during the week at conference to work on them. But it’s all done and I have final copies already. Oh and I have the cover for Brazen, just haven’t had time to post it, so here it is.
I made good time on the drive to Dallas and I only melted down once, so hey, I done good :lol2: I got here just after noon and promptly sequestered myself in my hotel room where I’m working on line edits. (I’m taking a break because damn there is only so long I can stare at that damn story!)
No idea who’s here because uhm, I haven’t ventured out of my room and don’t plan to until later. I am looking rather longingly at the very comfy looking bed though…
I’m not packed. Haven’t even started. I suppose at some point I should give thought to starting. I still have some shopping to do too. Yeah, see me really motivated. I’m leaving early tomorrow morning so it’s not like I’ll have time to do anything then. Today is it. See me rushing out the door or to pack. Uh huh. :sack:
I wrote 2500 words yesterday and also did edits. The thought of packing is making me sweat more than the writing.
I’m hoping to be able to pop in with some pics from RWA but if it goes anything like RT I’ll be lucky if I know my own name.
So the hubby and I took the kids to meet my dad and stepmom halfway yesterday. The kids were bouncing off the walls because they get to spend a WEEK with Ma and Peepaw. The husband and I then proceeded to pull an all nighter playing poker. We dragged in in the wee hours of the morning, snuggled up and slept really, really late.
I got up and checked emails and oy! I got slammed. I don’t usually get a lot of important emails all at once. But I had a bunch that needed attention. Anne and I are in the midst of creating my latest cover and that always takes a lot of back and forth because we’re both such perfectionist anal nazis and we want things just right. This results in 5-6 versions of the cover before we both say we’re happy. I also got my royalty statement, which is always a nice little pick me up. I got edits. Plus I had several others that required an immediate response. So I did all that and then hubby and I took a long hot bath together then went into town and ate lunch. We then went shopping for my shoes that I need to go with the dress I had to buy for nationals. I love hubby. He’s a much better shopper than I am lol. He picked out the dress and he also ended up picking out my shoes. Because I’m an idiot when it comes to shopping and I HATE it. Seriously. Shopping is about the worst thing I can think of. I’m an in and out kinda girl. If I MUST go out for something, I know exactly what it is I want. I go in, pick it up and get the hell out. I hate browsing.
So right now we’re both vedging out and watching the Astros game. I’m going to finish up my edits and then do my pages for the 70 days of sweat challenge and then tonight hubby and I are going out for a nice late, quiet dinner :hug:
but hole punching six thousand pieces of paper will cure most of the itchiness. My hands HURT!
I was up late last night and so I slept in today. My phone woke me up at 9 and I groggily answer to hear my dad say hey you guys left yet? I’m on my way. I say HUH? Yeah, I know, I’m so articulate. I shake my head and wonder if somehow I totally missed Friday and it was Saturday morning. So I say what? Even more articulate, yes. Turns out my dad misunderstood when we were meeting for me to drop off the kids. He was on his way and we’re not supposed to meet until tomorrow. :oops:
So today I have to finish hole punching papers so my wonderful, fantabulous hubby can put the booklets together for me. I lurve him. :hug: I also have to finish laundry, pack a week’s worth of cloths for three kids, I have a hair appointment tonight at six and I also still have to buy shoes (someone just kill me now) Then I have to drive halfway to drop off the kids tomorrow morning then come back and pack all MY shit. But if I can get all that crap done by the end of the day tomorrow, that gives me and hubby two whole kid free days to hang out and act like immature adolescents. :drunk:
And then on Tuesday morning I’m off to Dallas. I’m rooming with Larissa which should be a riot. I’ll get to hang out with Amy and a bunch of other people I usually only get to talk to online. (or on the phone, like STEPH! I can’t wait) And I’ll get to chase it all with copious amounts of alcohol. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.
I’ve got that itchy under my skin, restlessness that drives me insane. I’m dying to create. I want to dive in and write something, anything. The problem is I can’t. *sigh* At least not yet. I have too much other stuff to do. I went to Office Depot this morning after running the kids to the dentist. I love my Office Depot girl. She rocks. I had her print and fold the booklets for our Writeminded promo excerpt ARCs. So now I have to hole punch and put them all together. Thank God we’re only doing 250. I think I did something like 1200 for RT between the Samhain ones and the ones for my Berkley book.
So I have that to do. I also have to finish laundry and pack a week’s worth of clothes for three kids. Then I have to drive them to my dad’s on Saturday. Oh and then of course I have to pack all MY shit for nationals. I can’t believe A. it’s next week and B. that I’m still so calm about it. I still have some shopping to do and I hate shopping. There’s nothing worse.
But the cool thing? I get to hang out with some of my favorite people on earth next week. So it can’t be all bad. If worse comes to worse I can either retreat to the bar or hole up in a room somewhere and dish.
Man oh man do I want to be writing though…it’s been awhile since I had such a desire and love for writing and it feels so damn good to get that feeling back. I go to bed at night with scenes playing out in my head. I dream about storylines. I get up and can’t wait to get to my laptop. THAT is what writing is all about and it’s been two years since I felt that way about my job.
