My wish list may be a bit bizarre but it IS a wish list and as such I do a lot of WISHING this holiday season. Can you hook me up please?
More sleep. Or maybe I should say I need more writing done during daylight hours so I CAN sleep more at night. Would really appreciate this one.
Cold weather. Really I just want it to remain consistent. I mean if it has to be hot then let’s just go with hot all the way through. This 30 degrees one day and 75 the next is seriously fucking with me. My poor thermostat controls are screaming WTF at me as I go from heat to A/C
I’d really love for people to stop bitching so much, but I suppose that’s a lot to ask. Maybe just give me a roll of duct tape so I can do the job myself. I realize you’re busy and well, this one’s a tall order…
I’m worried about my upcoming trip to Colorado. You see, I figure about the time we land in Denver and depart on the two hour drive to the place we’re staying, Colorado will be gripped my a freak heat wave and that the temps will soar to unprecedented, all time highs. Which will cause a massive snow melt and the entire state will become a reservoir. Really I just want some snow while I’m there. I figure since they get a bazilion inches in the mountains every winter that this isn’t an overly difficult request, but I DO have evidence to support my paranoia. After all, we traveled to Scotland a year and a half ago and they experienced RECORD heat the ENTIRE time we were there. And dude, those people don’t have air conditioning.
And lastly, I need the book writing fairy to somehow place an entire finished manuscript (an awesome manuscript!) under my pillow by January 1.
That would be cool.
Lots of love.
PS, I think a “mute” button for my children would be most awesome. I’m sure a man of your advanced age and expertise could figure out how to sneak into their bedrooms Christmas Eve night and implant chips that control vocal cords. You can leave the remote in my stocking. I promise not to use it more than once…an hour.